i want real love

I’ve always wanted to talk about my situation but never have the courage to. I was born hiv+ and now almost turning 20. My parents have never disclosed my status to me by themselves rather i came to find out by myself. Of my four siblings am the only one infected. well the journey hasn’t been easy at all esp with relationships, you are tied to taking drugs everyday ..,people treating HIV infected persons like they have some plague, i have been into so many relationships but the moment you disclose to the guy your status, things change, they pretend to care the first few days but then start to withdraw and leave. its so painful to fall for someone but they leave, you fear getting into relationships battling how you going to disclose or how he’s going to react. I am very beautiful, so gifted and i thank God for that., I’d want to feel loved, basically real love, with someone who won’t mind my status., it’s a life no one would ever wish to live